it's great if you're early but its fine if you're late
I was into writing some nostalgic stuff today morning but then instead decided elucidating a few moments i experienced this noon time today...
Today I sat on a sunny bank and waited for the sun to soak through me. It was exquisite. I had nowhere else to go, nothing else that needed to be done in that moment but sit in the sun. well okay I was out to send a fax at the postoffice nearby but after that I utilized that wee bit of moments in the sunshine, the rays caressing my face
And then suddenly it started raining. People rushed around like ants searching for shelter! I held out my hands and lifted up my face, and I thanked God that I that very moment had the joy of feeling the drops of rain on my face.
I had the moments of music and sunshine and rain, and I was thinking how little pressure I feel for anything right now... (Except for getting some errands done. hmm.) I don't feel like I have to do anything except be.
It used to be that my life's purpose was finishing studies or work. Now at the moment though, my life's purpose is to learn something far more valuable.
How to really live.
I got in such a funk today morning I woke up at 4:30am for some strange reason. Prayed and tried to go back to sleep but in vain, so umm was trying to write a sonnet. The first stanza is amazing, but I keep running into issues. Guess I'm not Shakespeare. Oh well. Also, my car insurance people called up finally after 6months and said Miss your car was nearly at 200,000km. Sometime on this tank of gas it was to change. And that pole accident totally scrutinized it, so you see M'am it was just the flipside. Inshort you aint getting the insurance money :-/
I have this theory that there's some sort of very thin but present universal psuedo-psychic link that causes people to think about and call the same location at the same time. (Also, office rythyms play a part in call volume and timing, thus a billion calls around the beginning and end of lunch, around break times, and just before close.) I have some belief in global consciousness, so telephones are just another facet of that. (I'm now creating a new filter called, "I have this theory..." for such theories. I put them in here all the time, but I'd love to be able to look them all up at once. Two in one post today.)
Now the important stuff! Normally I'm not supposed to talk about the kind of work I get with Rosy's, but I don't think that anyone will mind if I make an exception in this case. Anyone who knows me well or has been updated on my situation lately will appreciate the irony: I got a call from Rosy, my colleague from the orphanage and this week I'm working at the Obdachlosenheim(a home for homeless people) and Learning Centre for the week as front desk reception. (It is either slow or insanely fast. There was a nearby bookshelf, so I've been reading The Little Prince, which is actually fantastic even though I've kinda read it some 20times already before. The Little Prince has been my hero ever since I first took that book in my hands! And I'm ever so grateful to God that I have a friend like him!)
And so now about this place where I work in the evenings this week. Our city 'Home for the Homeless' food bank is an absolutely fantastic organization. I'm declaring this week my own personal Home for the Homeless Instituition Awareness Week. This is in part because I've always loved the food bank. I was totally thrilled that I got called in to work there this week! Anything to help them out because they are heroes. The supermarkets here throw away things that are in abundance or have just crossed the expiry date or products that are supposed to be fresh daily like eggs or salad leaves or fresh milk products that are unpacked. The institution heros got them supermarkets to donate the stuff daily to the homeless and people who cannot afford even a meal a day.
This thought came to me when a man walked into the Food Bank on friday evening, into the office area because he'd never been there before. He had a little girl on his arm. I asked if I could help him, and he said with a deep breath, "Unfortunately, yes." He began to outline his situation with rawness, obviously at the end of hope. My heart broke for his low dignity, his worn-out eyes. I gave him directions for the warehouse and wished him well. Then I had a moment of real clarity about how shitty I feel about my life right now.
FACT #1: It's hardest for them to get volunteers in summertime. (Not so long ago, 80% of people under age 50 volunteered their time in some manner, now only 20% do and that number is declining.)
FACT #2: My city's food bank distributes approximately 400 kg of food each month. (for about 1,000 people in total.)
FACT #3: and allover Bavaria 12,000 people, half of which are children, are served each month. (That's just about 5% of the state's entire population)
Live a life of privilege
Pushing back the last, the lost
The least of these
To dull the edge of concscience with conceit
Live a life and see the world
Feel it's weight on the shoulders of the least of these
It spins and twirls without rest or relief
We all, we all wear dignity
It covers the strong, the weak
All this just made me realize that although I maybe weird at times, but I'm still God's favourite somehow.
And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart
Also, in case I needed more awesomeness, I had a friend say, " Dodo I always knew YOU ARE AWESOMESTEST !!!!!" :)